I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!

e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.

I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.

If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?

I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.

When you're in young love your pulse pounds, your palms sweat, and there are butterflies in your stomach. It's like diarrhea for your heart.