I go to the dentist every six months, I get a cleaning, so... I'm fortunate enough that those fluoride treatments as a child worked. Not getting any cavities.

I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.

Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.

Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

If you have ever typed 'sorry not sorry' I hope you die... not sorry.

I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.