I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.

I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.

Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.

I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.

Making a good music video isn't easy. If it were, MTV would still be showing them instead of '16 and Pregnant,' which I assume is shot exclusively in Utah.

Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.

Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting; freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.