I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.

Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?

Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.

The hardest working person in showbusiness has never been or ever will be a 'famous person'.

Women can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making decisions, being tall, taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny (on purpose), reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country, inventing anything important, or being fun to hang out with.

If you like soccer, then welcome to America. See, our country already has entertainment so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end 0 - 0 is not enjoyable - unless, of course, the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies.

You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!