Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?

The most important part of any CrossFit workout is posting about it endlessly on social media. How about you just brag about all the kettlebell burpees you did to the other whackos in your cult?

I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.

Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.

I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on the ground, it turned into a serpent, we both started laughing. We left it there, we hate snakes. We think they're slimy, even though we know they're not.