Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

I feel bad sometimes because I secretly hope New Orleans gets nailed again.

Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.

I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house.

I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.

Here’s what I tell people now when they come to my shows: “First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.”

My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.