Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

Here’s what I tell people now when they come to my shows: “First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.”

Making a good music video isn't easy. If it were, MTV would still be showing them instead of '16 and Pregnant,' which I assume is shot exclusively in Utah.

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.

Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.