I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.

Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.

The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?

Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.

Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.

Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is; if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.

I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.