I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.

No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.

You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary.

If you like soccer, then welcome to America. See, our country already has entertainment so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end 0 - 0 is not enjoyable - unless, of course, the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies.

Is it okay to roofie a girl just to shut her up?

I don't know what fire is made of - hell nobody does. All I know is that fire is awesome. I'm not a pyromaniac, but I am a pyroenthusiast.

We'll put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds' name, sure, as soon as we put one next to Babe Ruth's name. Getting to break records before black people were allowed to play? Excuse me, where is that asterisk?