It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.
They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.
I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.