Women can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making decisions, being tall, taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny (on purpose), reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country, inventing anything important, or being fun to hang out with.

Describe your perfect man who looks like me.

I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.

If you have ever typed 'sorry not sorry' I hope you die... not sorry.

At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.

You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.

Comedy Central wanted to do a show with me, I had a couple failures under my belt with them already, but they still wanted to try something else. They came to me and said they wanted to do something that was internet focused and created original content on their site, so they could compete with the funny or dies and what not. So that was the premise, and they gave us a small amount of money, $5000, and from there it turned into the show.