I fell asleep watching the country music channel and woke up racist.

I go to the dentist every six months, I get a cleaning, so... I'm fortunate enough that those fluoride treatments as a child worked. Not getting any cavities.

That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.

The great thing about Los Angeles is that you can get so much money in this town by constantly failing. You can get a lot of television deals that don't go anywhere, but you still get paid.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.

I can say that. I have a television show.