People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
Daniel ToshI came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
Daniel ToshThat Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
Daniel ToshWe'll put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds' name, sure, as soon as we put one next to Babe Ruth's name. Getting to break records before black people were allowed to play? Excuse me, where is that asterisk?
Daniel ToshSaw myself naked in front of a mirror a couple days ago - that's not the joke, that's what we called the setup. I saw myself naked, and I said, 'Holy cow, I'm 'The White Man.' I've heard a lot of bad things about you, cracka.
Daniel ToshDon't you love it when people in school are like, โI'm a bad test takerโ? You mean, you're stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? Oh. No, no, I can totally relate. See, because I'm a brilliant painter, minus my God-awful brushstrokes. Oh, how the masterpiece is crystal up here, but once paint hits canvas, I develop Parkinson's.
Daniel Tosh