I fell asleep watching the country music channel and woke up racist.
I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting; freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
Even people who don't believe in science still have to believe in gravity.