I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
If you have ever typed 'sorry not sorry' I hope you die... not sorry.
I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
I’m a Bad Test Taker…you mean you’re stupid?
My favorite thing to steal is a kiss. You can get arrested for it but they can't force you to give it back.
I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have to sweat for cancer. I'll write a check.