They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

I've always thought having a kid that played soccer would be the worst punishment. After watching 3 min of water polo I stand corrected.

I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?

Women can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making decisions, being tall, taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny (on purpose), reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country, inventing anything important, or being fun to hang out with.

My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.