Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.

I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.

I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.

Every video from Russia is depressing, it's like they have their cameras set to sad.

Describe your perfect man who looks like me.

I can say that. I have a television show.

I worked in Toronto for two days. And by work I mean sit in a trailer for 15 hours, say two lines, and leave.