You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

My favorite thing to steal is a kiss. You can get arrested for it but they can't force you to give it back.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

When you're in young love your pulse pounds, your palms sweat, and there are butterflies in your stomach. It's like diarrhea for your heart.

Every video from Russia is depressing, it's like they have their cameras set to sad.

If you snort enough blow, any lane is a passing lane.

I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.