You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!

Kangoroos can't hop backwards.

Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.'

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?

Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.

One day, I want to get rich enough so that every time I walk into a room I can release a dozen doves.