I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.

Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I; that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.

I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.

I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.

I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.

Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.

I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.