When you're in young love your pulse pounds, your palms sweat, and there are butterflies in your stomach. It's like diarrhea for your heart.

I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.

I don't know what fire is made of - hell nobody does. All I know is that fire is awesome. I'm not a pyromaniac, but I am a pyroenthusiast.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.

I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.

I saw a guy wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this blind kid and rubbed his eyes, and the kid could see. But he wasn't used to the light, 'cause it was bright, and he walked into traffic and was killed instantly. Okay, the people that are laughing right now? I'm gonna call you guys half-full. Because you're focusing on the important part of the story: the bracelets are working.