I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty; you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.

Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.

The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.

I worked in Toronto for two days. And by work I mean sit in a trailer for 15 hours, say two lines, and leave.

I'll do anything usually if there's money involved and little work.

If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.

Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.