I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker

I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.

Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt

You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.

I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?

You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.