She reached up and curled her fingers into mine. “He should take you to dinner.” To say that the mere thought horrified me would have been a grievous understatement. I threw up a little in my mouth then swallowed hard. I told Taft when I recovered, “Just please, for the love of God, find a girl good enough to take home to your mother. And do it soon.” “And stop dating skanks.

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.

I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker

An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles.