Jesse Joyce is a great writer.

Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

The voice in my head has a stutter, and that's really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa... Write it down!

Why do they collect garbarge at 5am? Why? It's garbage. It's not going to go bad again.

I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.

Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? "Damn I got to get the hell out of here!" "What was I thinking!"

Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.