Jesse Joyce is a great writer.

I used to do drugs, but that was way back there.

My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing.

When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.

Have you seen that magazine Barely Legal? That means when you look at it, you're almost a pedophile.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

I'm not like a performer type.