Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."

I've never had a surprise birthday party. I've had every other type of surprise. I've had surprise beatings, surprise drug tests, surprise daughter I think.

Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.

The voice in my head has a stutter, and that's really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa... Write it down!

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.

I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.

I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.