Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? "Damn I got to get the hell out of here!" "What was I thinking!"

I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.

The voice in my head has a stutter, and that's really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa... Write it down!

Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."

I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.