I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.

Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes.

A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.

So I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.