What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

For me, Molly Hatchet is high school. It makes me feel like I have hair and a future.

I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.

You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

I have no grand scheme.

My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing.