Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.

Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.

The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.

The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only by traffic cones.

I'm afraid that, in this chapter we must talk about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys.

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.