At certain times each year, we journalists do almost nothing except apply for the Pulitzers and several dozen other major prizes. During these times you could walk right into most newsrooms and commit a multiple axe murder naked, and it wouldn't get reported in the paper because the reporters and editors would all be too busy filling out prize applications.

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.

Do not put this product in a big vat and drop rats into it from a cat-walk.

Print neatly. That's the kind of advice that the IRS considers a "dynamite" tax tip. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

A secret society within a secret society.