Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States, and said it wasn't his fault, because he was not aware, at the time, of what his foreign policy was.

It was you readers who really came through, proving once again that when the American people decide to "get involved" in a problem, it is best not to let them have any sharp implements.

I always assumed that at some point I would have to quit making jokes, get a real job and do something meaningful and productive that would actually benefit society. Fortunately this never happened.

Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.

Generally the pythons are better than anything else at killing.

The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.