Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?

One of the major hobbies in South Florida is keeping animals that no sane person would want to keep. One of those is snakes. They usually get them when they're small, and when they get too big, they let them go. But there are also people with monkeys, lions, tigers. And they all get away, eventually.

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

I've come to realize that you're going to get criticized no matter what. Somebody will always hate what you write, especially if you write humor for a fairly broad audience. Somebody will always find it not funny and declare you're not funny anymore. And sometimes people are just crazy.

It's very slow for me to create humor. It takes me a long time to write a humor piece. It takes days.

Too many rocks in the mountains.