We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

Elsewhere in Italy is the lovely city of Venice, which each year attracts millions of visitors despite the fact that it is basically an enormous open sewer.

Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the 'most reliable Windows ever.' To me, this is like saying that asparagus is 'the most articulate vegetable ever.'

Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip.

Just get on any major highway, and eventually it will dead-end in a Disney parking area large enough to have its own climate, populated by large nomadic families who have been trying to find their cars since the Carter administration.

Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour."

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.