What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

I can't recall a story that played out exactly as I'd expected it to. That's one of the thrills of journalism - being surprised, and learning new stuff, but it also poses the biggest challenge to a writer's character.

Florida's number three industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud.

Never board a commercial aircraft if the pilot is wearing a tank top.

I always wanted to write when I was a kid; it just never occurred to me that you could have a job that didn't involve any actual work.... I felt it would be fun to have a job like that where you could make stuff up and be irresponsible and get paid for it.

I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits.

The Democrats believe that if God did not want them to raise taxes, He would not have created the Internal Revenue Service.