If I put forth a legitimate effort, then I feel like, if that doesn't work out, that's all I can do.

Jerry Seinfeld, he was doing Letterman show all the time, so he kind of had an excuse, that people know the jokes already. He didn't have time to do stand-up. A guy like me, I have no excuses.

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.

No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

A celebrity, whatever I am, you get cut off sometimes from people just by circumstance.