I love being famous - it's phenomenal.

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.

If someone sits and stares at you while you eat, you won't even eat the way you normally do, because it'll make you so uncomfortable. If I look at my dog when he's eating, he will look at me like, "Dave, I will bite you. What are you looking at? I'm trying to eat." It's something that dehumanizes a person, being on display like that.

Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.

The higher up I went, the less happy I was.

Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it's not nothing, it's something. But it's not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable.

If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.