I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

The world can't tell you who you are. You've just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'

People don't know what it's like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.

I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear - I'm not mad at anybody - not anymore.

Hey hey hey, smoke weed everyday

I started when I was 14. I figured out that's what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, "You're gonna be a comedian," and all this stuff.