If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.
You can't get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can't get unfamous.
Constantly take inventory of what's important to you.
Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I'm seven years late for work.
No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it.
Because I was surrounded by so much negativity at some point that it took me going back and doing stand-up to realize, you know, people really like me.