It's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy.

Everybody knows pretty much everything about me. I emptied all the skeletons out of my closet a long time ago.

If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then?

Never has my flabber been so completely gasted.

Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.

I don't want anybody to understand what my depression feels like because in order to understand it you have to have been there, and I don't want anybody else to go.

I don't suffer from a mental illness, I live with it.