I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler.

Hurling looks a bit like a cross between lacrosse and second degree murder.

I hunt feral hogs. I try not to shoot creatures. That doesn't do anything for me. But big, nasty, smelly, bristly things with tusks that destroy everything that they touch. Yeah, I'll shoot them.

The hardest thing I ever did was get sober. I was drinking two and a half bottles of whiskey a day and taking 40 Vicodin. If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

That's the trouble with Nick. The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.

I adore dogs to the extent I think they are much more important than human beings. I like your dog much more than I like you.