The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.

Van Halen can keep providing the rain and I'll keep providing the parade.

Classic Van Halen made people want to dance and f**k. Modern Van Halen makes you want to drink milk and drive foreign cars.

In the United States, you can put on a cowboy hat and join the country-western neighborhood. If you're down below 14th Street in New York City, that's bohemian; that's left-wing.

A song without a hook is like a train without rails. It skitters all over the place, bangs into everything. Boom! Crash! There goes Grand Central Station. Crushed by a train.

Give me a glazed doughnut, and a bottle of anything... to go!

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.