The issue of gay marriage has reached the Supreme Court and observers are analyzing every detail to predict how each justice will vote. Experts say Chief Justice John Roberts is likely to rule in favor of gay marriage based on the fact that he spent Tuesday's hearings watching the Tony Award nominations.

Here in New York City, it's cold. It's so cold the Republicans want to use the Keystone Pipeline to deliver soup.

Today is the anniversary of the Gettysburg Address. President Lincoln wrote it on his way to the site of the speech on the back of an envelope. One guy on the back of an envelope wrote the great Gettysburg Address - while every night it takes six guys to write this crap!

All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.

George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White House satellite system.

Now in Utah if you get the death sentence, they have the firing squad. In Russia, they call that early retirement.

Herman Cain said, starting today, if you buy into his 9-9-9 plan, he'll throw in a free 32-ounce soda.