Today would have been the birthday of Osama bin Laden. It makes me remember when Seal Team 6 threw him a surprise party.

All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.

The Academy Awards are passed out on Sunday. It's voted by members of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Or as I call them, 50 shades of white.

What a day. It's 53 and gloomy - like President Obama.

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, everybody loves them. But I thought this was interesting on the box, 'Konsult Kardiologist.

Do you know what I'm going to do when I retire? I hope to become the new face of Scientology.

Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.