I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?

Because Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.

Do you remember the good ol' days when Congress was only unsafe if you were an intern.

Former President Bush, to celebrate his 80th birthday, jumped out of an airplane. And if you've seen the polls, you know he's not the only Bush in freefall.

John Kerry spent the day reading to preschoolers ... and the kids said Kerry actually lacked warmth and failed to articulate a clear message.

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.

I don't like stand-up comedy that requires a lot of props. I really respect people who can walk out onstage alone and with no other tool but their own minds and can make you laugh and maybe even think a little.