Herman Cain said, starting today, if you buy into his 9-9-9 plan, he'll throw in a free 32-ounce soda.
David LettermanDid you hear what the Republicans have said about Hillary Clinton? They say she's too angry to be president. Hillary Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, too angry to be president. When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Oh yeah? I'll rip your throats out, you bastards.'
David LettermanDonald Trump may be running for president. He said he is sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that.
David Letterman