The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.
David LettermanOne day you're the leader of Iraq, the next day you're being checked for fleas on Fox News.
David LettermanIt's tax season. When I woke this morning and realized it was tax season, I said, My God, didn't we just pay taxes last year?
David LettermanObesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.
David Letterman