Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really bad seats.

How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running for this Olympics. But here's what happened. We got outbribed.

John Kerry spent the day reading to preschoolers ... and the kids said Kerry actually lacked warmth and failed to articulate a clear message.

The FCC has delayed the decision on the Time/Warner Comcast merger. So how do you think those folks like being put on hold?

In Hollywood, Oscar is king.

The mayor of Sochi is now saying that there are no gay people in Sochi. So the only thing that is flaming over there now is the Olympic torch.

Mayor de Blasio has legalized ferrets. Now you can legally own ferrets in New York City. I want to tell you something. If I want to see anymore beady-eyed little weasels, I'll just keep riding the subway.