There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.
David LettermanA lot of people think I'm retiring, but I've been telling a fib. I've been forced to leave this job because I gave $75,000 to the Clinton Foundation.
David LettermanObesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.
David LettermanThe Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has new balloons this year including the Pillsbury Doughboy balloon and the first openly gay balloon. Also the Thomas Tank Engine balloon, and they even have the Ebola nurse balloon.
David Letterman