The White House is saying Donald Trump has 'zero percent chance' of being elected. Isn't that a little high?
David LettermanBecause Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.
David LettermanThat's the first thing they teach you in bowling, by the way. Don't press the ball against your nose. The other one is don't lick the pins.
David LettermanWhen Martha gets out she'll be under house arrest in her big $40 million mansion in Bedford. Boy, that'll teach her. She's only allowed out of the house for doctors visits, grocery shopping, or to dump more stock.
David Letterman