It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.

Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before

It's tax season. When I woke this morning and realized it was tax season, I said, My God, didn't we just pay taxes last year?

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.

Stocks are at an all-time high today. I don't have any money in the stock market. I don't have the stomach for the ups and downs. So about 20 years ago I put all of my money and liquid assets into videotape rewind machines.

Remember evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin? He vanished for 10 days. He had disappeared and there were a lot of rumors. One rumor was he had disappeared because he had himself executed.

My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.