I just heard George W. Bush's new plan for airline security. From here on out, every plane will now have its own hockey dad.

After my bypass surgery I knew I had to change my lifestyle, and then it occured to me - I don't have a lifestyle.

Holyfield won the fight. It's not the first time Romney has been knocked out by a black guy.

Now in Utah if you get the death sentence, they have the firing squad. In Russia, they call that early retirement.

Martha Stewart is getting out of prison so today the terror alert was raised from orange to pesto.

Here in New York City you can now walk around smoking weed and all they will do if they see you is write you a ticket. Unfortunately, the ticket will be to a Jets game.

Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.