Critics of the Wall Street protesters claim that they have old ideas, nothing new, and they're never going to work. Wait a minute., that sounds like this show.

Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.

Obama took a tour of the Great Wall of China and said, 'We need one of these things around the White House.'

I think you can use some of those words on TV. But one thing you can't do is throw coffee, I've said it over and over again!

A lot of people think I'm retiring, but I've been telling a fib. I've been forced to leave this job because I gave $75,000 to the Clinton Foundation.

Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.'

Herman Cain said, starting today, if you buy into his 9-9-9 plan, he'll throw in a free 32-ounce soda.