Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.

God forbid I should be the last one to criticize, but I think may be Howard Dean has a bit of a problem because earlier today during a debate in New Hampshire, he bit off Joe Lieberman's ear.

Did you hear what the Republicans have said about Hillary Clinton? They say she's too angry to be president. Hillary Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, too angry to be president. When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Oh yeah? I'll rip your throats out, you bastards.'

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, everybody loves them. But I thought this was interesting on the box, 'Konsult Kardiologist.

I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.

Bill Clinton has a brand new book coming out in a few months and the Democrats are worried that the Clinton book might upstage the Kerry campaign. I'm thinking, hell, day-old meat loaf could upstage that campaign.

I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.