Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.

United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We're not too fond of luggage either.

Hillary is in Iowa to listen to what the people are saying - because if you want her to speak, that will cost you $200,000. So she's there listening.

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid says he will not seek re-election. Harry said he wants to spend more time with his family. As I always say, check with your family.

President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.

By accident Jeb Bush announced that he was running for president. And then he said, 'No, not yet. OK, I made a mistake.' And then later in the day, by accident, he called Hillary and congratulated her.

Kim Jong Un's sister got married. That sounds like another Seth Rogen movie, doesn't it?