Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.

You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.

Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache?

Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had advisers? Really?