I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.
David LettermanThe new 'Mad Max' movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic world. I have a small part in 'Mad Max.' I play the old geezer who remembers what steak tasted like.
David LettermanYou can email me, but I prefer letters that come through conventional mail. I like letters that have been licked by strangers.
David LettermanRemember evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin? He vanished for 10 days. He had disappeared and there were a lot of rumors. One rumor was he had disappeared because he had himself executed.
David Letterman