Privately I think that I'm not really somebody who has a network television show. Celebrities are other people - Johnny Carson and Sylvester Stallone. I'm just a kid trying to make a living is the way I feel.
David LettermanSo they caught Gadhafi in a storm sewer and shot him. Or as they call it in the Middle East, an orderly transfer of power.
David LettermanToday Mitt Romney is 68 years old. It's kind of sad, a 68-year-old guy with no job, no future - wait a minute, that's me.
David LettermanThe new 'Mad Max' movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic world. I have a small part in 'Mad Max.' I play the old geezer who remembers what steak tasted like.
David Letterman