Our offices must always be headed by the kind of men who command respect. Not phonies, zeros or bastards.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

Advertising is the place where the selfish interests of the manufacturer coincide with the interests of society.

At 60 miles an hour the loudest noise in this Rolls-Royce comes from the electric clock.

Senior men have no monopoly on great ideas. Nor do creative people. Some of the best ideas come from account executives, researchers and others. Encourage this, you need all the ideas you can get.

Remove advertising, disable a person or firm from proclaiming its wares and their merits, and the whole of society and of the economy is transformed. The enemies of advertising are the enemies of freedom.

I have an inviolable rule against employing nepots and spouses, because they breed politics. Whenever two people get married, one of them must depart - preferably the female, to look after the baby.