I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.

MySpace is a great way to keep in touch with friends who you don't care enough about to actually have a conversation with, why bother calling to say "how are you," when you can just surf their page and post an mpeg of a guy farting on his cat.

Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.

I'm still blow drying my hair, just trying to keep doing stuff that's fun.